ninjacodemonkey
i think i saw my inner child on the side of a milk-carton
reach me on gmail as martinkelly
I pretty much want to bear Barney Frank’s children now.
10 Films
Inspired by Mary’s amazing concert schedule, and Nick’s devotion to footie months in advance, I figured it was about time I got serious and organized about what I really love.
So. 10 Movies I want to see in the next couple of months, some for good reasons, some for bad reasons, but all for reasons. Movies I would like one, some, or all of you to come see with me.
500 Days (of Summer) - Guy Doesn’t Get Girl. Zooey Deschanel, so yeah, right up my alley. The only thing that could improve this movie’s proposition is if I got free cake and a bj for attending. Volunteers? (sit down, Nick)
Inglourious Basterds - Tarantino’s doubtless spectacularly violent and still quite pretty latest outing. This is a boy movie, yes, but I figure as long as I maintain a 3 to 1 chick to boy flick ratio, I still get to be a member of the sensitive dude club.
Sin Nombre - Blend of road movie/gang movie/immigrant experience movie in Mexico. I have a strong affection for gritty central and south american drama/thrillers, mainly because I like redemptive moments despite pretentions of appreciating grim realism, and redemptive moments in this school are more rewarding, since everything else is so believably fucked up. See “Amores Perros” or “Y Tu Mama Tambien” for exactly what I mean. Gael Garcia Bernal attached as producer, which means Fuck All, but it did win best director and best cinematography at Sundance 2009.
The Big Sleep - Bacall and Bogart: check. Adapted (and improved, remarkably) from a Chandler novel by Faulkner: check, check. Film of a novel about the danger of forcing pornography underground, filmed in the Hays Laws era where in any bed scene the male actor had to have one foot on the floor? Irony check. Great film. Bogey and Bacall’s best chemistry by far. One night only (Sept 29th, HPPH)
Burma, VJ - one of the most oppressive controlling regimes in the world is examined by a group of burmese who start carrying miniature video cameras and filming everything. Participatory Panopticon vs Controlling State. Really want to see this.
L’Instinct du Mort: French gangster epic. I like French gangster movies. Everyone should. Vincent Cassel, Jean-Francois Richet directing.
L’Enemie Public #1. Part 2 of above. Look, I thought I was fairly clear. What about “Epic” wasn’t clear?
Grace: This will probably suck (no pun intended) but I’m going to see it anyway. Pregant lentil-eater woman discovers her baby has died in the womb. Decides to carry to term anyway, convinced her vegan lifestyle will “heal” the baby. Wingnut. I know, at this point you’re thinking that this is going to be a movie about how insane hippies and faith healers are. But you’re wrong! The baby is born alive! So now you think it’s going to be a movie about how great veganism and faith healing is vs perfidious western medicine. Wrong again! The baby turns out to be a vampire. Seriously. I need to give these people money just for having the b*alls to *pitch* that story. Please, if you are swayed by my review, remember, I did say it would suck.
A Serious Man: new Cohen brothers. I keep hoping for a return to the dizzy heights of Fargo. Looks like they return to a more human scale with this one, which turns on a neurotic jewish college lecturer, his faithless wife, and his nude sunbathing neighbour.
And number 10 is: that movie that you want to see, that I wasn’t really that excited about, but which I will go see with you because you want to. Tell me what you’re looking forward to.
It can’t always be about me.
Have you met my Aunt? Did she have any clothes on?
- Nell Frizzell: hey handsome
- Nell Frizzell: it's 100% your turn at scrabble
- martinkelly: hey gorgeous
- martinkelly: alrighty
- Nell Frizzell: and don't go telling me you have work to do
- Nell Frizzell: because I simply won't take it
- martinkelly: nah, i'm reading questionable content
- martinkelly: that's a title
- martinkelly: not a description
- Nell Frizzell: ha
- Nell Frizzell: you know, I really thought it was a description
- martinkelly: for such a filthy scumbag i have quite rarified reading tastes
- Nell Frizzell: I'm reading Other People's Insecurities
- Nell Frizzell: it's a book by this man called Face
- martinkelly: i'm currently going through Critique of Pure Reason, and re-reading Paine's "The Rights Of Man"
- martinkelly: what's it like?
- martinkelly: and, your turns
- Nell Frizzell: yipeeeeeeee
- martinkelly: anyway, it makes me wonder where my being the smuttiest man alive comes from. i don't think i've ever read anything that filthy really, and reading sex scenes by my friends kinda squicks me out
- Nell Frizzell: are you still at work?
- Nell Frizzell: this is mighty late
- martinkelly: yet here i am, the dirtiest bastard in my particular postal code
- Nell Frizzell: are you?
- martinkelly: yeah. going to an exhibition with Lisa in a bit
- Nell Frizzell: hold on, what was that?
- Nell Frizzell: ....
- Nell Frizzell: clang
- Nell Frizzell: that's the sound of a gauntlet being thrown down!
- Nell Frizzell: (I clearly have no idea what a gauntlet is)
- martinkelly: no WAY could you out dirty me Nell Frizzell. Seriously. Don't try. You'll be left sitting in a smoking crater with bad pictures in your head and needing a shower.
- martinkelly: and no, a gauntlet was traditionally an armoured glove
- martinkelly: you're rocking it old school
- (19: 12:44) Nell Frizzell: we're not in the same postcode
- martinkelly: really fucking old school
- martinkelly: like, medieval
- martinkelly: yeah
- martinkelly: and i live in horbury
- martinkelly: so unless there are some really saggy-ass key parties going on in the cottages over the road with those old teachers
- martinkelly: i'm on fairly safe ground
- Nell Frizzell: but my filth is the kind that makes Michael Barrimore reach for the chair leg
- martinkelly: you're 23. i've been doing things you'd be ashamed of since before you were born
- martinkelly: maybe when you've got a few more shags under your belt. a few *hundred* more
- Nell Frizzell: hold on hold on
- Nell Frizzell: are we saying your filth quota is directly related to your bed post notches?
- martinkelly: no
- martinkelly: but imagination alone just isn't enough
- Nell Frizzell: what about imagination young scamp?
- Nell Frizzell: what for day dreaming?
- Nell Frizzell: where for smutty reverie?
- martinkelly: you need to *do* the things you imagined. then go "Oh, that wasn't nearly as wild as i thought", and then it goes further
- martinkelly: it's like coke. you rapidly build up a tolerance
- martinkelly: plus. i know your neck muscles bunch up at the thought of a threesome
- Nell Frizzell: beyond what window breaks the scrotum ripping shard of vocuabulary?
- martinkelly: whereas i have close friends where a threesome was the first time i met them
- Nell Frizzell: you know my aunt?
- martinkelly: biblically
You've Come To The Wrong Window, Love.
- Nell Frizzell: can I borrow your brain a second?
- martinkelly: of course
- Nell Frizzell: I need a funny way of saying buggery
- Nell Frizzell: in the sense of
- martinkelly: well, funny in what sense
- martinkelly: funny but less dirty?
- martinkelly: funny but more dirty?
- Nell Frizzell: "doing to the landscape exactly what Boy George did to a chained up rent boy"
- Nell Frizzell: but less rude
- Nell Frizzell: or, if not buggery, then just severely fucking over
- martinkelly: hmm
- martinkelly: i don't really do *less* dirty, you know
- Nell Frizzell: ha ha
- Nell Frizzell: of course
Orchestral Maneuvres in the Dark - If You Go
John Hughes (February 18, 1950 – August 6, 2009)
Closer (Fan Video) (via eetstomoch)
TURN YOUR FUCKING TECHNO OFF.
Mountain Goats - Genesis 3:23
It’s a preview release from The Life of the World to Come. Each of the 12 songs is based on a bible verse.
“I guess the obvious question is going to be: “John, have you had some sort of religious awakening?” and while I guess lots of people might want to be coy about answering that, that’s never really been my style, so: no. It’s not like that. It’s not some heavy-narrative-distance deal either, though, and it’s not a screed. It’s twelve new songs: twelve hard lessons the Bible taught me, kind of. More than that I’d want to wait to say until some people have heard it, which won’t be long. Will there be more news soon, quite soon? Like, next week, even? Oh yes there will!”
Priorities...
- Martin Kelly: Football?
- Martin Kelly: You'd give up an idyllic weekend with me, Hodgson, and Spud, for football?
- Martin Kelly: Time for an intervention mate
- Martin Kelly: Actually time for a cig but i wanted to harass you first
- Nick Miller: You have your addiction...
- Martin Kelly: Yeah, but no-one ever got mocked for giving up something for sex
- Martin Kelly: Kidding. Anyway, hope you got your dates wrong, cause it'll be at least 33% less fun without you
- Nick Miller: Only 33%?
- Martin Kelly: Well, yeah
- Martin Kelly: You, Spud, Hodgson
- Martin Kelly: Sam and Bambi are nice but they don't fill me with glee the way you lot do
- Martin Kelly: So i divided up the fun equally, leaving aside 1% for a nice pie
- Nick Miller: Well at least I'm 33 times better than a pie
- Martin Kelly: Steady on son
- Martin Kelly: I rounded down to make the math work
What's that smell?
- Nell: Dude!
- Martin: Dudette!
- Nell: Where have you BEEN?
- Martin: Sleepin!
- Martin: I was tired
- Nell: Oh alright
- Nell: Fair crack of the whip and all that
- Martin: Also been busy frothing this mornin
- Martin: My friend steve's comic book, Whiteout, has been adapted into a movie
- Martin: I just saw the trailer
- Martin: Kate
- Martin: Beckinsale
- Martin: in
- Martin: a
- Martin: shower
- Martin: I wanna fly to Portland now and kiss his feet
- Nell: Ha!
- Nell: Now, she is one of the women Rosie and I describe as 'smelly'
- Martin: Smelly?
- Martin: Does she smell of "awesome"?
- Martin: Does she give off a faint, hard to describe scent that says "I bet Martin really wants to fuck her"
- Nell: ...meaning smug, sloaney, pleased with herself and a little bit patronising
- Martin: Yeah. Ok. Same thing.
