ninjacodemonkey

Photo

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:35:51 +0000

Photo

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 17:00:27 +0000

via 16.media.tumblr.com

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:26:55 +0000

via 16.media.tumblr.com

Custom Vagina Pendant - Etsy

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:26:21 +0100

Custom Vagina Pendant - Etsy

via Antique Vampire Killing Kits

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:30:24 +0100

via Antique Vampire Killing Kits

A Softer World: 489

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:10:47 +0100

A Softer World: 489

impressionist cake (via megpi)

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:24:05 +0100

impressionist cake (via megpi)

"More than a year after an explosion of sparks, soot and frigid helium shut it down, the world’s..."

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:48:39 +0100

“

More than a year after an explosion of sparks, soot and frigid helium shut it down, the world’s biggest and most expensive physics experiment, known as the Large Hadron Collider, is poised to start up again. In December, if all goes well, protons will start smashing together in an underground racetrack outside Geneva in a search for forces and particles that reigned during the first trillionth of a second of the Big Bang.

Then it will be time to test one of the most bizarre and revolutionary theories in science. I’m not talking about extra dimensions of space-time, dark matter or even black holes that eat the Earth. No, I’m talking about the notion that the troubled collider is being sabotaged by its own future.

”

- Essay - The Collider, the Particle and a Theory About Fate - NYTimes.com

Nick: You don't like Family Guy? How is that possible? It's like the Simpsons, only funnier!

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:13:00 +0100

Nick: You don't like Family Guy? How is that possible? It's like the Simpsons, only funnier!
Hannah: Well, I don't like the Simpsons either.
Nick: ...
Martin: ...
Hannah: I might like it if it wasn't on all the time! There's too much of it!
Martin: Hmm. You mean it's like.. too much of a good thing? No matter how awesome something is, if you get overexposed to it, it becomes a chore?
Hannah: Sort of..
Martin: I don't know. I mean, some things you never get tired of. Like great sex? You can't have too much great sex. I think the Simpsons are like that.
Hannah: ...
Nick: You're comparing the Simpsons to great sex?
Martin: No, they're not equivalent. I'm just saying, they share the attribute that you can't really get too much of them.
Hannah: Even if you do both at once?
Martin: Theoretically, having amazing sex while watching the Simpsons should be the best experience you could have, and you'd never get tired of it.
Nick: Martin, if you ever watch the Simpsons during sex, that woman will never sleep with you again.
Martin: That just means the world's best sexual partner is Helen Keller.

Oddly creepy cover version (Scopitone) (via spikepriggen)

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:27:36 +0100

Oddly creepy cover version (Scopitone) (via spikepriggen)

Clowns Kicked KKK Asses - Neatorama

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:54:10 +0100

Clowns Kicked KKK Asses - Neatorama:

Just the best story of the day, hands down.

God Only Knows, Beach Boys on ukulele (via jaaaaaaa)

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:44:46 +0100

God Only Knows, Beach Boys on ukulele (via jaaaaaaa)

xkcd - A Webcomic - Newton and Leibniz

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:31:35 +0100

xkcd - A Webcomic - Newton and Leibniz

I pretty much want to bear Barney Frank’s children now.

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 15:16:17 +0100

I pretty much want to bear Barney Frank’s children now.

10 Films

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:29:00 +0100

Inspired by Mary’s amazing concert schedule, and Nick’s devotion to footie months in advance, I figured it was about time I got serious and organized about what I really love.

So. 10 Movies I want to see in the next couple of months, some for good reasons, some for bad reasons, but all for reasons. Movies I would like one, some, or all of you to come see with me.

500 Days (of Summer) - Guy Doesn’t Get Girl. Zooey Deschanel, so yeah, right up my alley. The only thing that could improve this movie’s proposition is if I got free cake and a bj for attending. Volunteers? (sit down, Nick)

Inglourious Basterds - Tarantino’s doubtless spectacularly violent and still quite pretty latest outing. This is a boy movie, yes, but I figure as long as I maintain a 3 to 1 chick to boy flick ratio, I still get to be a member of the sensitive dude club.

Sin Nombre - Blend of road movie/gang movie/immigrant experience movie in Mexico. I have a strong affection for gritty central and south american drama/thrillers, mainly because I like redemptive moments despite pretentions of appreciating grim realism, and redemptive moments in this school are more rewarding, since everything else is so believably fucked up. See “Amores Perros” or “Y Tu Mama Tambien” for exactly what I mean. Gael Garcia Bernal attached as producer, which means Fuck All, but it did win best director and best cinematography at Sundance 2009.

The Big Sleep - Bacall and Bogart: check. Adapted (and improved, remarkably) from a Chandler novel by Faulkner: check, check. Film of a novel about the danger of forcing pornography underground, filmed in the Hays Laws era where in any bed scene the male actor had to have one foot on the floor? Irony check. Great film. Bogey and Bacall’s best chemistry by far. One night only (Sept 29th, HPPH)

Burma, VJ - one of the most oppressive controlling regimes in the world is examined by a group of burmese who start carrying miniature video cameras and filming everything. Participatory Panopticon vs Controlling State. Really want to see this.

L’Instinct du Mort: French gangster epic. I like French gangster movies. Everyone should. Vincent Cassel, Jean-Francois Richet directing.

L’Enemie Public #1. Part 2 of above. Look, I thought I was fairly clear. What about “Epic” wasn’t clear?

Grace: This will probably suck (no pun intended) but I’m going to see it anyway. Pregant lentil-eater woman discovers her baby has died in the womb. Decides to carry to term anyway, convinced her vegan lifestyle will “heal” the baby. Wingnut. I know, at this point you’re thinking that this is going to be a movie about how insane hippies and faith healers are. But you’re wrong! The baby is born alive! So now you think it’s going to be a movie about how great veganism and faith healing is vs perfidious western medicine. Wrong again! The baby turns out to be a vampire. Seriously. I need to give these people money just for having the b*alls to *pitch* that story. Please, if you are swayed by my review, remember, I did say it would suck.

A Serious Man: new Cohen brothers. I keep hoping for a return to the dizzy heights of Fargo. Looks like they return to a more human scale with this one, which turns on a neurotic jewish college lecturer, his faithless wife, and his nude sunbathing neighbour.

And number 10 is: that movie that you want to see, that I wasn’t really that excited about, but which I will go see with you because you want to. Tell me what you’re looking forward to.

It can’t always be about me.

Have you met my Aunt? Did she have any clothes on?

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 19:44:27 +0100

Nell Frizzell: hey handsome
Nell Frizzell: it's 100% your turn at scrabble
martinkelly: hey gorgeous
martinkelly: alrighty
Nell Frizzell: and don't go telling me you have work to do
Nell Frizzell: because I simply won't take it
martinkelly: nah, i'm reading questionable content
martinkelly: that's a title
martinkelly: not a description
Nell Frizzell: ha
Nell Frizzell: you know, I really thought it was a description
martinkelly: for such a filthy scumbag i have quite rarified reading tastes
Nell Frizzell: I'm reading Other People's Insecurities
Nell Frizzell: it's a book by this man called Face
martinkelly: i'm currently going through Critique of Pure Reason, and re-reading Paine's "The Rights Of Man"
martinkelly: what's it like?
martinkelly: and, your turns
Nell Frizzell: yipeeeeeeee
martinkelly: anyway, it makes me wonder where my being the smuttiest man alive comes from. i don't think i've ever read anything that filthy really, and reading sex scenes by my friends kinda squicks me out
Nell Frizzell: are you still at work?
Nell Frizzell: this is mighty late
martinkelly: yet here i am, the dirtiest bastard in my particular postal code
Nell Frizzell: are you?
martinkelly: yeah. going to an exhibition with Lisa in a bit
Nell Frizzell: hold on, what was that?
Nell Frizzell: ....
Nell Frizzell: clang
Nell Frizzell: that's the sound of a gauntlet being thrown down!
Nell Frizzell: (I clearly have no idea what a gauntlet is)
martinkelly: no WAY could you out dirty me Nell Frizzell. Seriously. Don't try. You'll be left sitting in a smoking crater with bad pictures in your head and needing a shower.
martinkelly: and no, a gauntlet was traditionally an armoured glove
martinkelly: you're rocking it old school
(19:12:44) Nell Frizzell: we're not in the same postcode
martinkelly: really fucking old school
martinkelly: like, medieval
martinkelly: yeah
martinkelly: and i live in horbury
martinkelly: so unless there are some really saggy-ass key parties going on in the cottages over the road with those old teachers
martinkelly: i'm on fairly safe ground
Nell Frizzell: but my filth is the kind that makes Michael Barrimore reach for the chair leg
martinkelly: you're 23. i've been doing things you'd be ashamed of since before you were born
martinkelly: maybe when you've got a few more shags under your belt. a few *hundred* more
Nell Frizzell: hold on hold on
Nell Frizzell: are we saying your filth quota is directly related to your bed post notches?
martinkelly: no
martinkelly: but imagination alone just isn't enough
Nell Frizzell: what about imagination young scamp?
Nell Frizzell: what for day dreaming?
Nell Frizzell: where for smutty reverie?
martinkelly: you need to *do* the things you imagined. then go "Oh, that wasn't nearly as wild as i thought", and then it goes further
martinkelly: it's like coke. you rapidly build up a tolerance
martinkelly: plus. i know your neck muscles bunch up at the thought of a threesome
Nell Frizzell: beyond what window breaks the scrotum ripping shard of vocuabulary?
martinkelly: whereas i have close friends where a threesome was the first time i met them
Nell Frizzell: you know my aunt?
martinkelly: biblically

You've Come To The Wrong Window, Love.

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:48:00 +0100

Nell Frizzell: can I borrow your brain a second?
martinkelly: of course
Nell Frizzell: I need a funny way of saying buggery
Nell Frizzell: in the sense of
martinkelly: well, funny in what sense
martinkelly: funny but less dirty?
martinkelly: funny but more dirty?
Nell Frizzell: "doing to the landscape exactly what Boy George did to a chained up rent boy"
Nell Frizzell: but less rude
Nell Frizzell: or, if not buggery, then just severely fucking over
martinkelly: hmm
martinkelly: i don't really do *less* dirty, you know
Nell Frizzell: ha ha
Nell Frizzell: of course

"Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq..."

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:11:56 +0100

“Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse. Honest. This isn’t a joke. The president of the United States, in a top-secret phone call to a major European ally, asked for French troops to join American soldiers in attacking Iraq as a mission from God. Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their “common faith” (Christianity) and told him: “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.””

- Council for Secular Humanism - File under “Can’t Make This Crackass Shit Up

Orchestral Maneuvres in the Dark - If You Go John Hughes...

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:30:05 +0100

Orchestral Maneuvres in the Dark - If You Go

John Hughes (February 18, 1950 – August 6, 2009)

Closer (Fan Video) (via eetstomoch)

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:45:50 +0100

Closer (Fan Video) (via eetstomoch)